#129 Look What I Can Do! (191.6)

Through some kind of miracle, I weighed in at 191.6 this week. I'm not sure where the 3.6 pound loss came from. I like to think that I burn an amazing amount of calories sitting on my butt, but my brains says that it was part my period finally passing and maybe a little bit of muscle loss from the lack of working out. Whatever it is, I'll take it. I'm half way to my end goal now, and if I lose 1.5 pounds a week I can be there by my 22nd birthday, which is completely do-able.

I didn't make it to the gym today for a number of reasons I don't care to bore you with just now. I did get on the elliptical at home though, so today wasn't a complete loss. I figure I'm getting in some good exercise going up and down all these stairs with boxes of my things. Moving counts as exercise right?

You guys...I've lost 61 pounds. I can't even comprehend that number. I know what 20 pounds looks like, but 60 pounds just blows my mind. I'm a little freaked out by my own body. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in there this time that wasn't all the other times I've tried to lose weight. I'll stand in front of the mirror, admiring how my boobs, for the first time in my life, stick out farther than my belly and wonder what's different this time.

Every time I do something new that I couldn't do before I feel this incredible sense of pride. When I crossed my legs tonight at dinner all I could do was look around and see if anyone noticed, like "Look! Look what I can do!" and then I realize that most people can cross their legs and not think twice. But for me every new NORMAL thing I can do is just...fascinating. Watch me go up and down the stairs with heavy boxes and not lose my breathe. Look at my collar bones which now stick out whether I hunch my shoulders or not. Look! Isn't it all just amazing?

Today I wore a tank top and shorts out in the sun and felt completely content. I feel more and more normal every single day and I can't believe how great it feels to be completely average.