Daily Post #77, 78

Calories in: 2733
Calories out: 6937
Difference: 4204

Water: Not so awesome, but not awful.

I'm glad I went to the gym before I went over to my parents tonight, because I know if I had planned to go afterwards I wouldn't have gone. It's amazing how the people you love the most in the world are the ones that some times stress you out the most.

I have a younger brother who is in the hight of his teenage angst. I didn't see him tonight, but before I arrived he got my mom all worked up. See, he has this weird habit of never eating anything my mom cooks for him. He'll eat McDonalds every day, but he won't touch the food that the rest of the family thinks is delicious. My mom is an excellent cook, something she's very proud of, and the fact that he won't eat anything she makes has always sort of offended her. Tonight he finally told her why he wouldn't eat her food. The reason? He claims that the food she makes is the reason my family has a history of being fat. That's the word he used, fat. My sister was fat, my dad is fat, and I'm fat.

He thinks she made us fat. My poor mother. Of all the things in the world that have made me weigh what I do, I never once considered my mother the source of my fatness. When she told me about this, she had tears in her eyes and I could have beat my brother up for saying what he said to her. I know that she wishes she could fix all of my problems, and she does usually, but she can't fix my fat and now she thinks it's her fault.

To make matters worse, my mom is going in for serious spinal surgery tomorrow, and she's got my brother's mean words hanging over her head. I just feel so awful. I assured her that I don't blame her for my weight, that I never have, and that it's my deal and my issue, but I know she doesn't believe me. The last thing I want is for her to be going into this surgery feeling like a bad mother, or doubting herself in any way.

I don't know, the whole situation just makes me sad and frustrated. And I really don't know what to do about it.